Welcome to Swineblysters School of Spincraft and Makery! Share your house blend on social media with #paradisefibers and let the world know this exciting news!
According to our records, you are a determined and hardworking fiber artist who undoubtedly completes any project you set your mind to. After all, who will knit a sweater for every mammal in the world if not you. You are friendly and always ready to share techniques with new and old fiber magicians alike! As a result, you have been assigned to House Snortlepouf. Please note that any cookies baked must be baked by nonmagical means. We don’t want a repeat of the Great Cookie Avalanche of 1976. To this day, we are reminded of this incident every time we see the giant ants lurking in the forest begging for the infamous secret recipe in their native tongue.
For those of you curious about your house and its history, House Snortlepouf was founded by Svetlana Snortlepouf, the legendary philanthropist who single-handedly taught all knitnots how to handspin and create fabric from the thread. Sadly much of this knowledge has been lost due to the invention of non magical spinning and knitting robots. These robots were invented by Rumplestiltskin, Svetlana’s first student. Thankfully, Rumplestiltskin failed in his attempt to completely overthrow the fiber art world as we know it and become the one and only fiber magician. However, we are still recovering from the damage he inflicted.
You will find the ghost of her pet badger, Grizzle, protecting the dorms ready to help any student in need. To access the dorms one must hand spin a yard of yarn in front of the flying sheep painting in the east wing. Don’t mind if the sheep moves or baas at you. It gets a little restless sometimes.
This school year is promising to be the most productive, stash busting, and perfectly safe year we’ve had in many years. Pay no mind to the rumors. There are no giant moths at Swineblysters although we do ask that you refrain from entering the dark corners in the basement.